A Memory

I sit and wait. Staring out the window, the drops run down my blurry reflection as the rain becomes more intense. But everyone else? Asleep. I know it has been a long ride, but really? How could they sleep at a time like this? Sometimes I wonder if I am different. Different than everyone else—alive and awake in curiosity, not standing for an eye to close in an amazing experience like this. But I was, oh, so tired. My feet worn from the days of travel, happy to finally be sitting on a bus. Days of laughter and endless games with friends; tiring, but so worthwhile. My mind drifts… somehow watching the rain fall allows for a beautiful moment of peace and exploration of the mind. I feel so blessed to be on this trip. To see the world in a new way. To find love, deeper than I thought I could have, but not with a who or a someone, but rather, a what. A place. A place where I discovered myself and beauty. Learning history, and the beauty of God’s creation. This is why I cannot close my eyes. The moment might pass me by. Oh how I wish I could freeze time! “Sniff”, I hear from the seat next to me. Looking over, I see Matt with his bloody nose. That kid. Could never handle the high altitude any way. Maybe he’d like some of my gummy bears. You know, they are the best I think I’ve ever had. Man this place with it’s food. It is perfect. “Here”, I said, tossing him a few gummy bears. A toothy smile from him. He liked them. A smile right back from me. “Look, out there”, I whispered. “The lake. Isn’t it beautiful?” “If only we could tip the cows”, he said. I smiled. Matt was always my partner in crime. My mind again wanders.

We run off the bus, excited to be in the next place. Everyone is finally awake. If only they could have seen the journey here. I run too, in my navy blue target shoes, shorts and t-shirt with my swimsuit underneath. We were headed for the lake! My mind races, feet trying to keep up as I run toward the beautiful place in the rain. A swing! Yippee! I jump on the old tire swing hanging from the beautiful willow tree, swinging, free from the cares of the world. I watch my friends as they dash into the lake, swimming toward the dock in the middle. It’s slow motion. No camera or video could capture this moment like my mind can. I smile as I watch them giggle and splash each other. I wish to chase them. Darting into the water, the water feels indifferent from the warm, rainy air. I swim to the middle of no where—the wooden planks in the middle of the vast, blue lake, little cottages all around us. Just a few kids in our teenage years—young, wild, free. I count in my head. “One, Two, Three!” I’m in midair. Jumping, off the dock, with the swiss alps surrounding me. Life cannot get much better.

            It seems to me that in this moment I was completely free. Not bound by the camera, not seeing life through a lens or through my closed eye lids while dreaming. But awake, conscious, free—memories as crystal clear and effortless as the beautiful turquoise, Switzerland water.